In Your Room
Pairing: Clint/Coulson, Natasha/Clint (Friendship)
Warnings: Language, Angst, M/M Situations, Mentions of Character Death
A/N: Pretty much written because of the song In Your Room by Halestorm. Listen to it!!
Summary: Natasha and Clint go to Clint and Phil's old home to collect his things, but Clint doesn't want Tash coming into their bedroom.
Clint unlocks the door to the apartment and looks around. Everything is exactly how the left it before going to New Mexico. Clint scratches at his neck. He doesn't want to step in the door. It's perfect this way, and he feels like he'll ruin it if he walks into this beautiful place.
" Clint looks behind him at the redhead, "I can't."
Natasha wraps an arm around his shoulder, "You can."
Clint stares at her for a moment before acquiescing and steps into the living room. Natasha walks in right after him and shuts the door. 'We're only here to get some clothes', Clint keeps thinking, but that thought is not keeping the pain at bay.
"Clint, which way?" Natasha breaks the silence between them once more.
"The laundry room is right off of the kitchen." Clint points to the doorway to the left. His head is pointed in the direction of their bedroom.
Natasha nods and walks into the kitchen. Clint takes a deep breath keeping the tears away for a moment longer. 'I have to do this.'
The door to the bedroom opens, and the room fills with light. Clint looks at the walls. Three white and one black because he kept bugging Phil to let him paint it different.
"I swear if you get paint on the carpet, I will kill you." Phil threatens.
Clint laughs, "Sure, you will, babe."
Phil slams him against the wall, "I mean it."
"You love me too much to kill me." Clint chides playfully.
Phil smiles and presses their foreheads together, "I do."
Clint wipes at his eyes. He can't cry. He won't.
"Clint, you don't have any pants in here." Tasha calls from the kitchen.
The archer clears his throat, "I'll get some from ourmy closet
Clint pads over to the closet and opens it. A brown stuffed bear falls on his head, and Clint immediately catches it before it can hit the floor. He wipes the dust off before actually looking at it.
"Happy anniversary?" Phil smiles nervously. Phil Coulson is never nervous.
"It's a bear." Clint stares at the stuffed animal.
"I know. I saw it and I thought of you."
"Why because it has a bow and arrow?" Clint looks up from the bear at Phil, "I remind you of cupid?"
"Must I remind you of the arrow with the note attached to it?" Phil cocks an eyebrow.
Clint grins and hugs the older man, "I love you."
"I love you, too."
"Clint?" The assassin is in the hall now. She'd promised she wouldn't come into the bedroom.
"Give me a minute." Clint says. His voice is choked up, and he can't help it. He misses Phil.
"Clint, I'm coming in."
"Tash, don't." Clint says, but it's so quiet and broken she either didn't hear it or pretends not to because she's walking in and pulling the archer into a hug. Clint breaks down completely, clinging to her. He misses Phil so much.
"I've got you, Clint." She soothes into his short brownish/blonde locks.
"I need him." Clint whimpers.
"I know." She's looking at the picture on the nightstand. It's from the day that Phil asked him to be his husband, something not many people knew about the couple.
Natasha looks up from her gun she'd been cleaning, "Hey, Phil."
"I need your opinion on something." Phil's holding something, but she really can't tell what it is.
"Yeah?" The woman walks over to him and sees a customary blue box, "Phil?"
"I'm going to ask him today; do you think he'll like it?" Phil opens the box and inside lays a golden ring on an old silver chain.
"God, yes. He'll love it." Natasha runs her finger along the chain, "Is this?"
"Yeah. It's from my tags." Phil nods."
The assassin pulls the archer to the ground and hugs him close again. He's got his arms wrapped tight around the little bear.
"Why did he think he could take on Loki alone? Why would he do that?" Clint cries into the fur. Tasha can't answer him. "We were supposed to get married. We were going to see the world together. Why would he leave me, Tash? Why?"
"He didn't do it on purpose. He loved you, Clint. You were everything to him."
"We wanted to adopt. He wanted a girl. Wanted to name her Christine. What am I supposed to do without him?"
"You have me, Clint."
"But I need him, Tasha." Clint looks up at her with pleading eyes, "I can't survive without him."
"Yes, you can. You need to keep his life going, Clint. Keep his memories going. You can do this." Natasha reassures him.
It takes a while for Clint to calm down enough, so they can get him some clothes. He grabs a couple pictures, Phil's pillow and the bear.
Natasha walks out of the room to give him a moment of privacy.
"I love you, Phil." Clint whispers. He looks around one more time before shutting off the light and closing the door behind him.